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Once I settled into my tall chair at a corner table I started feeling more at ease and thats when I started feeling like I was being sized up as prey. I had a few cis girls make mean comments as they passed me at my table I'd see others glaring at me not knowing what to think. In this day and age you wish people would be more accepting. Genetic girls get to date guys and try their best to look good and impress. No body gives a second thought, but I'll feel sometimes peoples judgement.I talked with lost of guys and had a great time. I didn't get to dance like I had hoped I would. Seemed like I attracted a bunch more older men. Some of the more "alpha" types were very straight forward in telling me what they'd like to do. Its always a welcomed feeling being touched or held in some manner by a stronger type man. One such guy (told me he was in the military) bought me several drinks and I enjoyed talking with him about random stuff like movies and activities. I flirted with him I won't. School that I accepted a boy in my life. I didn't even noticed back then why was him from any other, but it was because he was really feminine, had really gentle and soft factions and a very slim body... But he was a jerk in the bottom. I'm not going to get in details, but he made me feel really bad about myself in plenty of ways. We broke up in a month, but I had the scars for years. By my twenties, my life was awful. I was a shut down, spending my whole days sleeping, playing videogames and watching cartoons. Not just because that jerk, I was just... felling empty, alone, and out of place.I moved away from my parents when the relationship in my house got kinda awkward. They knew that I was failling in school, tryied to talk and such, but and I dind't wanted to talk about it. I was totally closed in myself and it went worse and worse.I only went for food at night, and I always got horribly nervous when there was more than 3 people at the convenience. I cried to sleep most of my.
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